They say when it rains, it pours.  In this last week, I was felled by a sinus infection (life simply sucks when lived through a throbbing skullful of snot), my blog got hacked (thanks “Seabat” or whoever you really are–GET A LIFE!), my precious, precious cat died (see photo below) and I heard some very scary news about the health of a loved one.  Get out the freakin’ umbrella.

And I guess the umbrella right now is people.  My father is calling all the time.  I’m talking to my older sister in a way that’s new and deeper, forged by our fear.  My friends are all stepping up to the plate in a way that really shows me we live in constellations of energy.  Constellations of love, to be precise.  And that love literally holds us up when the world as we know it collapses.

The vibrational world is real.  Someone called it the “infinite mind” the other day, and I loved that.  It made me remember that there is a huge vibrational plan, or template, and that we are its marionettes on invisible strings.  And when we remember those strings, we can dance, and really live.  When I tune into the infinite mind, everything is open and leads to possibility, even in the midst of feeling awful.

I’m grateful that I’m present for all this, even in its total suckitude.  I was teaching a class at Kripalu this weekend and there was no faking that I was in pain–especially  hearing about the death of my cat right before teaching a class–and the students were lovely.  They said that my being totally present made them totally present.  I guess that’s how it works.  And then everything changes.  And changes again.

It’s hard to believe right now that it’s all gonna be okay.  My other cat is skittish and turns to find her brother with every noise.  It absolutely breaks my heart that he’s never gonna show and that she’ll have to adjust.  Life is a series of adjustments.  And sometimes they feel cruel and cold.  What macrobiotics gives me is the flexibility and depth of feeling to make those adjustments.  Even when it hurts.

My new mantra:  Love first, food second.

Be good to your family–human and animal.  Nothing is permanent.

Thanks for listening,

Jessica

Peanut Butter Porter, Oct. 27, 2003–Feb. 17, 2008

His sister Pepper, who needs good vibes sent her way…

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 19th, 2008 at 1:39 pm and is filed under My Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.