I’ve fantasized  for the last few years about starting "Caffeine Anonymous".  I dreamt about it as I stood in line for my doppio espresso  with Rice Dream .

Thank God, someone else actually did it. It’s here and its tagline is "We Believe You. You are not Alone", which is great for any caffeine addict to hear.  We feel like total idiots living in a world where everyone and their kids drink the stuff .  It’s not easy admitting powerlessness over a the world’s favorite, legal, and no-big-deal drug.

The site has great video clips of experts explaining the problems caffeine produces; adrenal exhaustion  is a big one .  It also has testimonials from recovering caffeine junkies, along with message boards and discussions.  Most of all, I like the site because it busts my denial about ol’ Joe.  With every corner owned by Starbucks, it’s hard to really grok that we’re dealing out a highly addictive, harmful drug to one another.  Its benign reputation is deceptive.

Did you know that caffeine is a naturally-occurring pesticide?   That’s right.  It’s Mother Nature’s way of killing bugs.  Any bug that munches on a plant that contains caffeine will become, oh, paralyzed and eventually die .  Call me crazy, but I have a policy about trying not to put anything in my body that ends in ‘cide’, which means murder.  It just seems to me, that if it kills a little bug, it can’t be too great for me–a much bigger bug.   And we wonder why it makes us edgy and irritable. Think about it:  Caffeine increases your heart rate  and taxes your immune system because it’s trying to kill you!

But CA is not the only thing I’ve used to get off the java.  In a flash of total obviousness, I remembered that I am a hypnotherapist!   I used to make CDs  for myself all the time which would take me into profound relaxation and tell me "you’re beautiful, you love your life, you’re happy" etc.  By bypassing a certain part of the conscious mind, these messages–whether I believed them or not–got into my subconscious mind and began to transform my life.  I would go on and off my hypnosis jags, depending on what I needed at the time, but it always worked.

I had considered making an "no coffee" one for myself a couple of years ago but, truth be told, I wasn’t ready.  I didn’t want to be done.  I guess I hadn’t really struggled enough .  But now I’m ready and my new CD tells me all sorts of good things like "I enjoy a peaceful, serene life.  My struggles with caffeine are OVER"  Stuff like that.  Oh and "I look like Gisele Bundchen". 

It’s been four weeks now  and I feel really good.  I honestly feel like I’m done.  It’s quite unlike the times I quit cold turkey, when I would eventually end up having a "should I or shouldn’t I" tennis game in my head.  With the exception of a couple of dodgy moments, I haven’t really thought about it at all.  I love listening to my CD and just sinking into all the positive messages… and my husband Tom?  He loves it too!

If you need help, reach out.

If you need hypnosis, contact me.

Jessica

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This entry was posted on Thursday, May 27th, 2010 at 5:30 pm and is filed under Blog, Help, My Life, Photos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

I have been wrestling with caffeine addiction for at least fifteen  years.  I remember, when I was working on a computer at many moons ago, thinking to myself while I slurped a cup o’ Joe cut with  amazake  "Mmm… this stuff is good" … and…

"this stuff is EVIL". 

I really don’t understand how it is that we’re all jacked up on caffeine (87% of all Americans have a caffeinated beverage every day) and there aren’t corpses  laying in the street every ten feet.  I am such a JERK when I’m on caffeine, although I’m too Canadian to let you know that.  I just seethe, while you spew your gobbledygook… I seethe and I endure you . 

It. Is. Awful.

But I’m not here to convince you to stop drinking it.  I promise.  Whenever I talk about my struggle with caffeine, it’s gets everyone all defensive and they start telling me how they only have half a cup a day… that it really doesn’t bother them… that Ambien  works just great for sleep.  Frankly–and please don’t take this the wrong way–I don’t care.  I am just glad to have crawled recently out of my own personal hell . 

Life is weird; one person’s hell is another person’s productive afternoon !  I know what my demons are and my personal constellation is unique; sugar, caffeine and a certain herb that is now available "medicinally" on nearly every strip mall in Southern California.  These are my three witches; they cast evil spells over my life.  I have danced with all three and each one has stuck her long, warty nose near my ear and said "You’re so screwed" .

The other two I manage to stay away from easily; Sugar,  the drug that goes back the furthest, took a few years to kick, but once I did, my body really got the message.  Now, in a store, when I pick up a product and scan the ingredients, if even the word "cane" appears before my eyes, my hand automatically replaces the item on the shelf.  My body rejects it even before my mind can make a clear decision.  The suffering it lead me to was too dark  and my surrender too deep. 

The aforementioned herb… well, that never had the grip on me that sugar did, but at one point in college, it did beat me into submission like a purple bunny  jumping on my chest a thousand times yelling "LOSER, LOSER, LOSER!"  Now I smell it on the street sometimes and think "Done". 

Caffeine has been the wiliest witch.  She peers from on high , on every corner, in every mall , on every cup going by .  It seems like everyone in the world… black, white, man, woman, cool, nerdy, rich, poor … lines up for her every morning.   Worshipers at her shrine. 

It’s not so easy to go against that grain . 

Not to mention that some sort of invisible coffee lobby keeps putting out material saying that it’s not bad for us.  That they’re are no side effects.  Oh yeah?  How about TOTAL PERSONALITY TRANSFORMATION?   On top of: cardiac stress, weakening of the immune system, messing with fertility, anxiety, insomnia, adrenal fatigue, mineral loss (leading to osteoporosis), and paranoia?

I’m well acquainted with all of these conditions because I’ve never been a daily user.  WHAT?  Oh no.  I go on coffee benders, like a pathetic business man  on an out-of-town spree.  I can go for weeks without the Joe, getting back to my "normal" existence, only to have the cravings pull me back.  So I know the damage it’s doing and the vast difference between my personal . 

But this time I’ve quit differently.  I’ll tell you how next week…  Stay tuned.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, May 20th, 2010 at 3:01 pm and is filed under Blog, My Life, Photos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

My friend Neil Sattin is a cool guy .  He lives in Portland, Maine  with his lovely wife, Tonya (who writes a really funny parenting blog called HappyDash.com), and his two little kids.  I spent many a cold, wintry afternoon watching Dr. Phil  with Tonya after she gave birth to their first little one.  Neil would come down from his upstairs office and wince when he saw what was on the boob (the electronic one), and then join us in our guilty pleasure…

I even know his dog, Nola,  who was once so badly behaved that a professional dog trainer suggested she be euthanized.  Neil would have none of it.  Instead, he sought out a discipline called "Natural Dog Training" which helps the owner perceive the world from his or her dog’s eyes… or heart, to be precise. 

You see, dogs follow their prey drive, and in Natural Dog Training, the human tries to align with that, instead of dominating, thwarting, or breaking it .  And what’s the best way to align with the prey drive?  Oh, BECOME THE PREY!!   In this technique, you actually bond with your dog by acting more like prey than master.  Your dog becomes instantly and enthusiastically attracted to you when you retreat and "push" gently against your dog’s drive, which reinforces his attraction to you.   YIN AND YANG BABY. 

This leaves your hopelessly and pathetically in love with you .  Well, that and a fanny pack full of treats.  If only human made this much sense!

If you’re having trouble with your dog and you’d like a more natural approach that aligns with your dog’s nature, check out Neil’s site.  He’s got videos and other cool products and a great blog. 

Hip Chick Products– Online Cooking Classes– Hip Chick Audiobook

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 12th, 2010 at 8:18 pm and is filed under Blog, Photos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

If you read this blog with any regularity, you know that I am a cat person.  I have a weird cat, named George, who does weird things like lay on my Korean massage bed like a human being .  That’s why I love cats… they’re weird. 

No matter how hard I’ve tried, I really can’t train George.  When I try to get him to do something, I think he understands the command, but he doesn’t obey, just to spite me.  He just stares at me with a look of contempt mixed with pity, thinking "you idiot, trying to train a cat."  That’s why I love cats… they’re arrogant.

If anything, he’s trained me.  In the morning, he chews on some part of my anatomy  to get me up and give him a treat.  At night, he stares at me and meows until I get out the red laser pointer and trace it quickly up the door , causing him to jump about four feet in the air.  That’s why I love cats… they’re like Mike Tyson  and Michael Jordan  all in one.

Now dogs… they’re different.  I’ve never really understood dogs because they’re so… obediant.  They actually WANT to please people.  And to that end, they are crazily trainable.  Is that a word?

Anyway when I was in Florida recently, I hung out with a dog named Revolution .  She is a Border Collie with miss-matched eyes and uncanny resemblance to Keith Richards .  Her human is Tori Self , a just-turned eighteen year old, and truly Hip Chick, who has been training various canines in Dog Agility since she was 12.  Now I’ve known Tori’s mom and stepdad for a few years now and I’ve seen the hundreds of ribbons  in Tori’s room, and even spewed annoying, unsolicited adult advice at her… having no idea that she and Revolution were National Champions.  I also didn’t realize that Tori has a website called Hippiedogs.com, that she is famous for doing the Agility courses barefoot, or that Miss Rev–as she’s known–has her own freakin’ blog!  That’s a dog.  With a blog.

I’ve seen Tori and Rev train and it is a remarkable thing .  She can get that dog to turn in circles, and climb backwards up a tree, and even cook up a pot of brown rice !  THEY PUT ME AND POOR GEORGE TO SHAME.

So, I encourage you to follow Tori and Rev’s careers on Twitter.  They are going off to The University of Florida at Gainesville this fall.  I love them dearly, but I’m still stuck on cats.  Psssssst.  George!!!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 5th, 2010 at 7:23 pm and is filed under Blog, My Life, Photos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.