CHEW-A-THON: Day OneSeptember 9th, 2009
I know it’s not cool to make Chewish jokes, but Oy, did we have a good time today! The first Annual International Celebrity Charity CHEW-A-THON went off without a hitch. Chewlia Roberts masticated on the red carpet. Robert Downey Chewnior dazzled with his pearly whites and Judge Chewdy made sure it all stayed legal.
But seriously, chatting in the Chew Room this morning were chewers from Italy, Switzerland, and Austria. Later in the afternoon, while the Europeans slept, chewers from Maine, Chewcago and The Berkshires joined to support each other. I swear to God this chat room is the center of the Chewniverse!!!
Please, someone stop me.
But seriously (seriously), today was great. I chewed and chewed, and felt present and peaceful. I also had a big insight into chewing: I realized that so many people who have difficulties with chewing–who only get to 30 or so chews–may need to hear this: at a certain point, chewing is not about tasting, or enjoyment, or any type of eating you are familiar with. Chewing is simply the brutal stomping of the food to get the most energy from it. Like someone stepping on grapes to make wine. So after those 30 chews, don’t seek to recognize the experience. Just keep mashing the stuff in your mouth so that the microscopic bits–floating in saliva–give up their goodies. As your chew-count increases, you will feel that you are creating high-octane fuel in your mouth!
Going to bed now as I pass the torch to the Europeans…