CHEW-A-THON: Day Three

September 11th, 2009


I felt so balanced in my body today–like I was ten years old or something.  I was walking on a path outside my house, and it’s got little bits of gravel strewn on it.  Without thinking, my feet stepped only on the gravel free bits.  There were no "ouch!"es or "s*#&"s because me feet had Supreme intelligence. 

Then in the Chew Chat Room, someone mentioned that they were experiencing less gas.  Which makes perfect sense.  You see, of the half liter of gas you pass each day (and if you think you don’t fart, you’re doing it at night), most of it is swallowed air!  That’s right, from wolfing down food, chewing gum, and even talking, we swallow air and some of it get trapped… way down there. 

By chewing thoroughly, not only is there less air in the mouth, but we chomp the heck out of the bits of air in the food!  When it is swallowed as well-chewed liquid, food produces much less gas.  Yes, even beans.  The CHEW-A-THON is proving it!

So who’s gonna make the T-Shirt "CHEW MORE, FART LESS"  or maybe "MY CHEWING MIGHT BE ANNOYING YOU BUT AT LEAST I’M NOT FARTING" or, the classic:  "I’M WITH CHEWPID"

Omigod.  I’m so funny I have to go to bed.




2 Responses to “CHEW-A-THON: Day Three”

  1. Chew Barrymore says:

    I’m so sorry I missed farting discussion. If a man farts cca 3,5 liters of gas a day, and a woman 3 liters, chewing reduces 15%. Not bad.
    I’ve heard that holding back form farting can cause colon perforation.
    I wonder, how many days must one collect gas inside oneself before it perforates? But; that’s not a chew story.
    (It’s for a FART-A-THON, when we’ll give up kombu and chew on beans)

  2. MaryLou says:

    I am still in the dark as to how this chatline works. When I check it out, I can only see a few lines at a time and I feel like I’ve landed in the middle of a movie with no clue as to what’s going on … How do I know when to sign on and actually experience chatting?
    (okay, so I’m a person of a certain age)

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