I’d like to thank the Academy…December 10th, 2009
So yeah, I’m basically a movie star now. No biggie. It feels fine. I don’t have paparazzi at my doorstep (yet)… I haven’t signed an autograph (yet)… and my apartment still awaits its ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’ renovation, but hey, those are just details.
I was asked by some friends to play a part in their upcoming independent feature film. "Sure, what part?" I asked, getting all ready for my close-up, imagining myself kissing a gorgeous guy , or wielding a prop gun , and they said "um, like, a hypnotist? A hippie hypnotist? " And like all my actor colleagues–Meryl, Marlon, Miley–I thought: "Hm. Type-casting! ALREADY!!!!"
But that’s just the biz. You see, this summer, at the Kushi Institute Summer Conference (go next year–it’s really great), I met Arin Crumley and Isis Masoud . He made Four-Eyed Monsters, a huge web-driven hit about his relationship with a former girlfriend. Isis, a dancer and choreographer, is one of the founding members of the Pole-ite Girls who were launched to national notoriety when they pole-danced on New York City subway trains. These two were documenting the conference and, having seen me do a speech on hypnosis the year before, asked if I would do some witch-poo brain-washing on them! Of course, I agreed and we filmed a couple of long, intense, life-shifting hypnosis sessions starring themselves . It was really fun. I have no idea what that footage will eventually become (if anything) but over a couple of days, we forged a nice bond and they–maybe the grooviest and hippest people I know–knighted me an ageing hipster in the court of 21st century cool . Thank God.
So now they want my skills for their feature film about Burning Man. Their assistant director would be Roger Ingraham , who holds the record as the youngest filmmaker to ever show at Sundance, with a little vampire flick he made at 19 years old called Moonshine.
Hmm… what shall I charge for all this? What would Reese do? Can I get Nicole on the phone? Do I have them remove the brown M & Ms like my friends in Van Halen or am I not that big a diva? I decided that I would forgo my regular 7-figure fee and just go along for the ride. I flew to New York , made my way to a vast loft in Williamsburg filled with every conceivable type of costumed, body-painted, sparkly twenty-something and entered into the world of the silver screen .
Now, it’s natural to expect hysterics and ego-centered insanity on any movie set. Les Artistes can become quite dramatique at times. But this set was different. Sane, friendly, patient and fun. When I started to get hungry and went over to the food table, I figured out why: Isis, who has been macrobiotic for a number of years, had made a spread centered around a delicious brown rice salad (See recipe below). There were beans, organic corn chips , fresh salad and a pasta dish. Not a shred of meat… no dairy… and no white sugar. I was not the only one to connect the dots between the calm and balanced food and the nice vibe of the set. After working for more than 16 hours, Arin, Isis and anyone still waiting around at 11 p.m. was still in a decent mood .
We finally shot my scene and I’m pretty sure of the following: I did not barf, nor pick my nose on camera. Other than that, it is a blur. Fingers crossed I was okay. Apparently, I looked like this: . For more than that, I’ll see you at the movies!
P.S. Here is Isis’ recipe for her brown rice salad: