Life
December 15th, 2007Life is so weird. I’m having all these major insights lately, and it’s very intense. THIS WHOLE TIME OF YEAR IS INTENSE. Especially because I have a birthday, neatly tucked away in the shadow of Jesus Christ Our Lord’s annual bash. So it’s not just holiday time for me, but that season of self-centered reflection, gratitude, and remorse–all spent cuddling up to one’s personal little puppy called “mortality”. Heavy.
Plus, I thought I dropped a bomb in someone’s life recently–the so-called “earthquake” I talked about a few weeks ago was actually the sending of a particular letter, to a particular person, about another particular person, and I just found out the letter was never received!! I have been processing my reality for the last three weeks–in the most intense way–as if some energy bomb had been dropped–BIG SECRETS TOTALLY REVEALED–and they were not. Or at least it looks that way. It’s as if God reached down into a computer and plucked a blistering missive from an inbox and shoved into a spam folder. Whoah. It changes everything. And yet… nothing. Because I did all the processing I needed to do to get angry, detach, learn some big lessons… and just because the other side of the tennis court didn’t show up doesn’t actually matter. In fact, the not-showing-up issue was–funnily enough–the most major issue of the original relationship that the letter’s about, so it’s perfect, in a way. And the truth is, I can live without the guilt that comes with launching bombs, however righteously.
So this is what I’ve learnt (love the British spelling of that word):
Beware of narcissists. I mean it.
Old friends are sweet like chocolate and steady like brown rice.
Love all kids–enjoy them like the springtime scallions of the soul.
Blogging is still hard. Anyone who enjoys this blog, PLEASE ENCOURAGE ME–I’m self-employed and getting myself to do it is like pulling my own teeth, and if I know I have someone I’m talking to out there, it really helps. Plus I love to feel the presence of people all over the world turned on by the oomph of macrobiotics–it’s powerful and radical. What an amazing and challenging time to be alive…
Be honest with yourself–no matter what. Energy will stop moving if you lie to yourself for too long. Never fear the truth.
Family is an ever-changing organism. How amazing to feel it morph, and shift, and know where it can crack.
I am very lucky.
Enough yammering, Porter! I hope you all have a great holiday season, getting closer to people, feeling the aches and joys of that. Don’t forget, in the mix of it all, to eat some whole foods (especially grains), and chew them well.
Enjoy,
Jessica
December 15th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Jessica — I just wanted to leave some encouragement!
I love your book (will there be another one eventually? I hope I hope) and I love it that you have a blog here. I admit, I just started reading very recently, but I hope you’ll keep it up. All the best - Jen
December 16th, 2007 at 4:47 am
Hi! I discovered your book a few weeks ago and making some changes that you suggested has really helped me out
So keep blogging! I have your page bookmarked and I check here often. I think you’re wonderful, and you seem to be going through many of the same challanges I go through too. keep it up!
December 16th, 2007 at 7:47 am
Hello Jessica,
I regularly read your blog and enjoy its cryptic, cosmic emotionally vibrant content. I read your book about a year ago and it’s introduced me to a whole new world of yin/yang grain/brain food related alchemy and for that I am grateful.
Keep up the good work and let the universe flood on through!
Best wishes for you this holiday season
Atom
x
December 16th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
Hey Jessica,
You OF COURSE know that I absolutely support you in your blogging. You’re doing a great job, and I love visiting to read what you’ve written. Keep it up!
About that unreceived letter, though - WHOA!
Wishing you all the best - and that we could be at your b-day celebration.
-Neil
December 17th, 2007 at 11:40 am
Jess, I discovered your blog a couple of weeks ago and have laughed and cried reading it like it was a novel. It seems to be going on everywhere, big ole changes and learning how to ride through big ole changes. Getting to the core and shedding the dead outdated outer shell.
I have been focusing on being nice to myself. Creating the vibe of kindness and tenderness and surrounding myself with people who also have this vibe. I mean the real kindness and tenderness not the fake and it is leading me away from narcissists, straight to my great friends and my kids.Im trying out the kinpira tonight. So glad you are blogging and that I get a sense of you and your life and that your here on the planet with your great brain and huge heart. I hope you have a great birthday!!!!!
xo, jen nevitt
December 17th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Jessica,
I love how you blog anyways, even though it is very hard. You are brave and insightful. Thank you.
December 17th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Well, I just found you and I love your blog and wish you would write more and, I totally know what you are talking about though, needing encouragement to not feel as if you are talking into a black hole.
Well, anyway, keep writing and people will keep reading.
Happy birthday!
December 21st, 2007 at 9:43 pm
I just wanted to say HI and offer my encouragement for whatever it’s worth. I just discovered your writing…I’ve been dabbling in macrobiotics for a while but your perspective is so fresh, it’s very inspiring. I am seeing yin and yang everywhere! So thank you.
So if you are still feeling in need of encouragement…(and I can certainly relate to that)…your work obviously resonates with a lot of people…I know it does with me! Thank you!
December 22nd, 2007 at 1:42 am
And I hope here is more encouragement: I listened to your interview on the Hip Tranquil Chick Podcast yesterday, loved it and ordered your book right away! While I’m waiting for the book to arrive, I’m browsing your blog. Thank you for all the time and energy you are putting into this site - I’m really grateful for that!
Happy Birthday and happy Holidays to you from Germany!
January 14th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Yes, yes, yes! There is plenty of us out here to answer your question “Is there is anybody out there”. I’m just one in a long line of others letting you know that I’m reading and savoring all of your posts. I get excited when there is a new one because you are a talented writer and it gives me a lift every time I read one. Your posts are insightful, funny, informative, funny, thought provoking, funny. Did I say funny? Maybe the next book will be a compilation of your postings. You can throw in a recipe here and there. I’ll buy it for sure!
Hope your birthday was terrific - I also have a birthday tacked on to the very end of all the holiday celebrations, kinda like an afterthought