When Howard and I were private chefs, we would always be on the lookout for our clients experiencing “the macro feeling”. It’s difficult to explain if you’ve never felt it, but I remember one guy saying “I’m used to going to work and pounding the desk” as he made the aggressive gesture on an imaginary desk, “but today” he said, with a mixture of surprise and disappointment “I just didn’t feel like it”. Howard and I looked at each other–there it was…it took about a week… the macro feeling!

“how is it that I am on this plane with all these other people who are so clearly stressed out, and I’m floating on this internal macro cloud–is that fair?”

Consistent macrobiotic practice makes you feel… soft. No–cancel that. It makes life seem soft. No–that’s not it. It makes me feel like I have cotton batten inside myself, insulating me from the rough edges of life. Yeah, that’s it. It makes the ride of life… soft. Which doesn’t mean I feel weak or ineffective–if anything, it’s the opposite. I feel clear, and precise and very in-the-moment.

It’s weird. The modern, Western world seems to thrum along at a certain rhythm–one which now invisibly incorporates the internet, the pressures of work, screaming kids and the war on Terror–just to name a few stressors. Turn on the cable news and watch the A.D.D. dance of the anchorperson, the moving graphic to the right of his head, the ticker tape news running below him and the ticker tape news below that ticker tape news. That’s the speed I’m talking about, and the world–as it gets more yang (faster, more pressurized, more crowded) is basically squeezing us to match its speed. But, the MB diet S L O W S I T A L L D O W N …to the pace of a seventeenth-century sheep farm somewhere in Romania.

I almost feel guilty when I’m in the slow, cushiony nervous system of whole foods. I feel like “how is it that I am on this plane with all these other people who are so clearly stressed out, and I’m floating on this internal macro cloud–is that fair?” And I don’t mean fair in the political sense, but in the sense of “how the hell can these two realities be happening next to each other, both waiting for the ‘occupied’ sign to turn to ‘vacant’?” We’re sharing the same external reality of the plane, but on the inside, I am swaying to Enya while my neighbor is thrashing to Megadeth. Seems weird.

That’s why I always say that macrobiotics is about consciousness. It’s about your inner peace and perspective on life. When I go over to my mother’s house in England, we always eat really well. Not perfectly, like the healing diet, but my mother really cranks out three macro meals every day and they are really good. After feeling yucky for a few days, I start to get the macro feeling and I remember just how powerful all this stuff is. I go home absolutely resolute in my determination to practice better. Not to be noble, but just because the macro ride is so nice.

But, and here’s the weird thing: I actually have to get over some fear in order to do that–fear and limiting thoughts. In order to accept that 17th-century Romanian sheep farm feeling in 21st century urban North America, I need to bust through the belief systems and unconscious thoughts that are holding me back from taking such a smooth ride. I need to ask myself: what is preventing me from feeling as good as possible? What resentments and fears is my shadow producing to hold me back? What are my upper limits? How much joy can I stand? I’m sure we all have different answers to these questions, but they are universal questions, nonetheless. Very few people take off like rocket ships without any resistance from their subconscious minds. Growth can bring up anger and fear, precipitating sabotage. I write out my resentments and fears each night in order to get really clear with what my shadow is up to, and it’s very helpful. I follow it up with a gratitude list and I feel deeply prepared to live the following day.

Anyway, just wanted to check in. It’s the new year. It feels great. If you have the macro feeling, enjoy it. And if you don’t, know that the works required to get it is worth it. What I learned at my mother’s house is that the macro kitchen/food life has to function like a machine to get momentum; I can get all caught up in the minutiae of life (”does my intuition say I should do this? Is now the perfect moment? Do I REALLY want this leek?”) while my mother just barrels through and the energy, the force, the love that gets put into the food from that consistent action creates beautiful results. Less thinking, more doing. So, just for today, I’m siding with Nike in saying “just do it”–meaning cooking. Just keep cooking. It’s the real Secret.

I hope I take my own advice…

Jessica

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 3rd, 2008 at 1:03 pm and is filed under My Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.